Many factors play a part in dating after divorce. Those who have been through a divorce have their own unique experience; therefore there’s no one set rule to follow when it comes to dating again.
The following factors can have an impact on dating after divorce:
- How long the marriage lasted for
- The length of the overall relationship
- How the marriage ended
- How you feel
- On what terms you’re on with your ex
Only you will know when it’s time to move on. There’s no rush. Don’t allow friends and family to push you towards dating again, even if they’re just trying to be supportive. Marriage is a huge part of your life; it’s not something you can just get over instantly. You need time to grieve over its breakdown, followed with time getting back in touch with yourself. Obviously, the reason for the marriage breakdown can have a big impact on moving on. If the relationship was over for a while before a divorce, or if it ended amicably, then mentally you may be ready to date again quite soon. A sudden or difficult marriage breakdown and divorce could potentially result in you never wanting to date again; it would take a lot of courage and time to possibly start all over again. Some people remain on very good terms with their ex-husband/wife, but that doesn’t necessarily make it easier to move on; it could, in fact, make it harder with not wanting to hurt each other.
When to move on
For some, a failed marriage can put them off dating for life. Others just need time to recover from a divorce before moving on. Knowing when to start dating again will differ from person to person. Making changes in your life are often small signs that you’re ready to start dating again. These changes may include; a change of appearance, starting a new hobby, putting yourself in new situations, or generally feeling happier and more like your old self. If your emotions are still heavily invested in your ex, then you’re not ready to move on. It’s unfair to start dating someone new if you can’t detach your emotions from someone else.
Make a change
If you’ve been married for a long time the thought of dating again can seem very daunting. You’ll feel like you’re starting over from scratch. Dating won’t be the same for you. A previous marriage will have changed your outlook on relationships, making you more aware of what you want and don’t want from dating. Ask yourself how you can put what you’ve learnt from your marriage to good use. This is the perfect opportunity to try something new. Instead of looking for someone just like your ex-wife/husband, try dating someone different to your usual type. Dating someone new doesn’t mean you’re looking for a new husband or wife, it simply means you’re ready to take steps towards meeting someone to share some special and happy times with. After being married you may feel a little awkward and intimidated dating again. When you do find someone new to date, don’t rush into anything. Don’t put any unnecessary pressure on yourself, just take things slowly and see how it goes.